listen in

A glimpse into my iTunes library.
Enjoy. :)

Ingrid Michaelson - Breakable

U2 - Vertigo

Matt Nathanson - Come On Get Higher

The Clash - London Calling


ache to remember

"I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the brush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in"

Sometimes I get irritated by sappy songs.  Sometimes they're just too sappy.  For instance, I'm not a big fan of Taylor Swift's music.  (I know a lot of people aren't going to be happy with me about that, but oh well.)  Sometimes I hear sappy love songs and I think, "Ok, seriously? Grow up a little bit.  Be a little more realistic."  It's all part of my internal struggle to not give in to the "hopeless romantic" notions that seem to be so engrained in my subconscious.  I try to be practical and think clearly, but that doesn't work very well most of the time...  So I might as well hang up the white flag and surrender to my subconscious instead of continually fighting it.  Accept how I am and live with it.

Sometimes a sappy song perfectly describes what is happening in your life...



"You stupid person!  Don't be so selfish!  Good grief.  Think of others before yourself.  That's what love is about, putting someone's needs above your own.  Who cares if you don't like the situation.  Just because you're not getting anything out of it doesn't mean he isn't.  I really expected more of you."

I get mad at myself sometimes...

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesian 4:2



Proverbs 31:10-31
10  A wife of noble character who can find?
   She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
   and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
   all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
   and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
   bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
   she provides food for her family
   and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
   out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
   her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
   and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
   and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
   and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
   for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
   she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
   where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
   and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
   she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
   and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
   and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
   her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
   but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
   but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
   and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

*God, please help me to be a woman like this...*

The verse that strikes me the most in this passage is verse 30.  "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."  So many times we base our value on our outside appearance.  We base our value of other people on their outside appearance.  That is not right.
So many things in the world tell us that we must look like this, dress like that, have this body type, be that size, have this hair, have that complexion.  It's maddening and useless.  
I think women more than men deal with this kind of pressure.  But then men see these messages too and think that these kinds of supermodel women actually exist when in reality they're an airbrushed fantasy.
Things like hygiene and exercise, taking care of your body, that's one thing.  I think that if someone can show they know how to take care of themselves then that better shows they're able to take care of other people too.
But when someone is so concerned about outside appearance to the point that if they or someone else doesn't look a certain way that it counts against their character and personality, that's not right.  It should not be that way.  Beauty and looks only get you so far.  It's good character, confidence, and talent that will take you far in life.  
Beauty doesn't last either.  We're all getting a little bit older every day.  Your smooth skin, shiny hair, and fit body aren't going to last.  We're all going to be old and wrinkly someday.  It's inevitable.
The way the world sees beauty is shallow.  It all has to do with the outside, with looks, appearances, and largely with sex appeal.  The world doesn't value good character, strong morals, bright personalities, kind spirits.  No, none of that matters.  If you don't have the looks, you're worthless.
I know many people who wouldn't be considered "beautiful" in the eyes of the world.  But you know what?  They are some of the most beautiful people I know.  They are beautiful because of their hearts, the love they share with others, their joy, their dispositions, their talents, their faith.  That's what makes them beautiful.  And when you're gorgeous beyond belief in that sense, does the outside really matter at all?


curl up

Some songs are just so perfect.  You can't help but listen to them over and over and over...



Be patient, not frustrated.
Be understanding, not judgmental.
Be helpful, not hurtful.
Be thankful, not wanting.
Be loving, not hateful.
Be giving, not taking.
Be to others how you want them to be to you.
Be the kind of person you want to be with.

Be still and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10


missing piece

Even if you know it's only temporary, even if you know you're going to see them again, saying "goodbye" is hard.
It's like there's a new piece inside of you.  And even though it's new, it fits so perfectly with the rest of your pieces, like it's been there all along.  But when you say "goodbye", that piece is torn, ripped out, and it's painful.
I guess the pain is a good indication though.  I would rather feel sad and broken when the piece leaves than feel happy and free.  If I was happy when the piece is torn out, that would not be good.
So yes, saying "goodbye" is hard.  The pain is not enjoyable.  The piece is temporarily missing, but it'll be back.
Just hold on.