7.31.2011

hindsight

I'm in the middle of switching over to Gmail for my e-mail.  After importing all my contacts, I began sifting through them, correcting names and deleting out of date information or people I am no longer in touch with.  Coming to a certain category of contacts, I realized, "Wow, I haven't kept in touch with any of these people for quite some time!  I could delete this entire category without a second thought."  It was mind boggling to think that these people I grew up with, who were once so close to me, now feel like complete strangers.  We've grown and changed so much over the years, it's like we hardly know each other anymore.  It makes me wonder what's going to happen in another almost ten years to the friendships and relationships I currently cherish so dearly.  I deleted probably more than half the contacts in that certain category.  I'm going to hold on to the rest for the time being...


7.21.2011

streams

Change can be a difficult thing to deal with, whether it's involuntary or not.
Our relationships with people can change in the blink of an eye, without any explanation. All of a sudden there's an impenetrable wall between you and them. You try to reach out and help, but the wall doesn't give. It seems like you will never be able to climb over the wall or break through it.  Waiting to get through the wall is hard. Sometimes it hurts a lot and you ask yourself if you could have done something differently. Sometimes you wish things could be as they once were even though you know that will never fully happen. So in the end you sit at the bottom of the wall and wait patiently for them to throw over a rope or break down the wall on their own and let you back into their life.
Choosing to make a change could be an even scarier experience. You wonder if it's the right thing to do, if you're making a good choice, if you'll be able to handle what you're about to jump into. But sometimes it's just time for a change. Things have been one way for too long and it's time to step in a new direction. It's exciting and daunting at the same time. Thinking and procrastinating won't make it happen, so you have to take a breath and jump in with both feet.
In either of these situations, we can cling to God for strength and guidance. We can have comfort in knowing that He has something new in mind for us and it's even better than what we had before. He can pull us out of the most painful and dreary of situations and give us a new start.

Isaiah 43:16-19
16 This is what the LORD says—
he who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters,
17 who drew out the chariots and horses,
the army and reinforcements together,
and they lay there, never to rise again,
extinguished, snuffed out like a wick:
18 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.


7.15.2011

tenderhearted

"Is it possible to care too much? Where and how do you draw the line? When it starts to affect your daily life? When it becomes all you think about? When people don't respond?"
I've been thinking about this all day. Trying to determine if this quality is a fault or a blessing. Looking for answers.
Then I come home from work and going to the movies afterward with my dear friend to find the answer posted on my Facebook wall.

"Some people care too much, I think it's called love.
A. A. Milne
Winnie the Pooh"


The same dear friend I went to the movies with had posted this on my wall much earlier in the day. I was flabbergasted. Yes, that was the one answer to my many questions.
God created me to be an open and loving person. He made me soft and put lots of extra doses of love in my heart. Sadly, this also means that I burn easily when people hurt me or aren't receptive to the love I so freely dish out. But...

Me: It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, right?
Dear Friend: Right. A life without love is no life at all, and we can rejoice in our heartbreaks in the end knowing that in some way or another they led to something better.

I love my dear friend.  I love my dear family.  And even though I seem doomed to live a life where not everyone will be able to understand or appreciate how freely I care about people, I think I'm ok with that.
Now I'm just hoping God will bring along a special guy for me to be with who is just as open and caring as I am.  I don't think I'd be content spending the rest of my life with any other kind of person.

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourself.
Romans 12:10

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12


7.04.2011

hush

Anticipation.  Nervousness.  Waiting.
Seems like we're all constantly waiting for something.  Waiting to go somewhere.  Waiting for something to happen.  Waiting for someone.  Waiting for things to change.  Waiting for things to move on.  Sometimes it's excited anticipation.  Sometimes we're biting our nails worrying.
But honestly, what's with all the waiting and the worrying?  Why not just enjoy where you are now and let things happen by themselves?  Instead of being filled with trepidation, we should be filled with contentment.  Instead of trying to figure out what's going to happen next, we should be enjoying the moment.
Trying to figure out how people are going to act, what's going to happen, worrying over what to do won't help anyone, especially yourself.  If you've already done all you can to help the situation, it's time to give it up to God. He can handle it better than you anyways.
Excited anticipation, enjoying the present, having peace that God is in control.  That's a better way to live instead of worrying all the time.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Matthew 11:28-30

And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
Luke 12:25